Out of my life?

 

She’s Out Of My Life
She’s Out Of My Life
And I Don’t Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry
I Don’t Know Whether To Live Or Die
And It Cuts Like A Knife
She’s Out Of My Life

It’s Out Of My Hands
It’s Out Of My Hands
To Think For Two Years She Was Here
And I Took Her For Granted I Was So Cavalier
Now The Way That It Stands
She’s Out Of My Hands

So I’ve Learned That Love’s Not Possession
And I’ve Learned That Love Won’t Wait
Now I’ve Learned That Love Needs Expression
But I Learned Too Late

She’s Out Of My Life
She’s Out Of My Life
Damned Indecision And Cursed Pride
Kept My Love For Her Locked Deep Inside
And It Cuts Like A Knife
She’s Out Of My Life

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Are you out of my life? Wonder if it was my fault. Did I do say/do anything wrong? Wonder if there’s anything that I can do to restore the friendship at least. Well…to at least say hi when we meet?

Wish I could be there to walk with you in every step of life. To support you and cheer you on. But I don’t know how to gain access to that position once again.

Just be happy and do well please. Praying for you and cheering you on..from afar

From afar

as always, you’re greatly missed.

but it’s great watching you from afar. no one gets hurt that way

sure hope what’s displayed from the outward reflects what’s truly in you: happy, doing well, satisfied, loved, working so hard doing great things.

so proud of you.

praying for you really works!

please finally have the courage to breakthrough fast.

that way, i can really let go and leave…for good.

Tomorrow :)

tomorrow is finally here!

am i ready? hmph…

i know it’ll be great! it’ll be refreshing and it’ll be a great blessing!

stay tuned for the details when i come back

True love

“True love is wishing you to always be happy, even if it means not having me in your future. To have come to such a decision would mean that we have gone through a bad patch of sorts, and it had come to a point where the issue cannot be mended.”

Flashes of memories fill her mind as she read through the words that he wrote months back. One fear that filled her heart as these words repeated themselves like an echo in her heart: Have they reached a point where the issue cannot be mended? Is he leaving her because he thinks she is happier without him in her future?

But if that’s his mindset and decision, does that mean his love for her is true? And if his love for her is true and she’s sure her love for him is true, why can’t they be together? Why choose a path where both of them will hurt and be in pain, rather than a path where both will be happy and fulfilled?

A greater fear crept in her heart as she ponders upon the never ending questions: It’s simple. He has never loved her. That would still explain why he’s leaving her and why 2 people who have true love for one another chose not to be together.

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Disclaimer: This is yet another fiction post by the author from an inspiration after reading something her friend posted. This post has nothing to do with anyone dead or alive that the author knows.

Strawberry and Chocolate

It looks good, smells good, tastes good and you want it. But whether it’ll do you good is another story altogether.

For as long as Strawberry doesn’t leave Chocolate, Chocolate will find it close to impossible to get rid of Strawberry. Chocolate sticks on to Strawberry. Perhaps the only way out is for Strawberry to leave Chocolate. And Chocolate just has to wait till that happens.

But perhaps, Strawberry will not leave Chocolate and the Chocolate-coated Strawberry will still look good, smell good, taste good and do you good.

Only time can tell.

A splashing story

SUNshine went swimming again today (considering the wedding is only 14 days away!She needs to work harder!). I was really thrilled cos I love, love, love this particular pool that I went to. The only frustration she had was to look for the pool! Every building in that area was labelled “Kementerian Belia dan Sukan Malaysia”!

Anyways, I was all set to swim my laps and I saw something funny while swimming my first lap itself. There was a hot girl wearing a bikini who was standing tip-toed in the middle of the pool, right in front of me! I was just thinking, “What’s with her? Why is she posing in the middle of the pool? Does she have a muscle cramp? But she doesn’t look like she’s in distress or troubled.”

So, I continued swimming and thought I probably I can just avoid her so that she can continue “posing” there. I checked her facial expression again when I was nearer to make sure she really wasn’t in distress or any trouble. She looked fine! The moment I thought she was fine, I felt her grabbing me from the back!

Crap! She WAS in trouble and great! Now I have to rescue her cos I was the only thing person she could hold on to. So, I took a deep breath and swam to the side of the pool with all my might! Here goes dT aka Little Miss SUNshine, the superhero in the making, rescuing a hot chic in distress!

The problem was, she kept pulling me into the water! Good Lord! So poor not-so-sunny-anymore-superhero choked the-Lord-knows-how-much-of-chlorinated-water! And the most stupid unbelievable part of it all was: There were 2 lifeguards sitting right in front of us! They were watching us and only threw the float to her when poor superhero girl managed to drag both of them to the side of the pool! Sial! Waliao!

But oh well, she apologised and thanked me anyway. SUNshine was glad she didn’t have to do any first aid and check for ABC and call the ambulance! I rather choke chlorinated water!

But there were a few lessons I learnt:

1. I should have kicked her away from me and let her drown! The lifeguards would probably have noticed and all she’ll get is water in her lungs!

1. Hot hunks who will take off their shirts and jump into the water to rescue those near-drowning only exist in Baywatch!

2. Don’t try to drown the person who is trying to save you from drowning! Just relax and let her save you!

3. If you’re a lifeguard, watch the pool properly and not yack with your friend or have super delayed response! Super lag man!

4. If you’re a guy and you’re trying to teach 2 hot girls how to swim, don’t leave them to drown! Watch them properly la. Yup..that girl was there with another hot girl and a guy who was  trying to teach them how to swim! He  came after we finished coughing all the chlorinated water out from our airway!

5. It’s always good to be properly trained in swimming and lifesaving! Even if you don’t save anyone in your lifetime, you yourself won’t drown at least! Haha…

On a more touching and inspiring note, SUNshine also noted something when she went swimming today. I saw something at poolside when I was about to jump into the pool and when I got out too. This was what I saw:

Yup! A pair of lower limb orthosis and forearm crutches! He not only can swim, but I saw him walking towards his car after swimming and drove his car away! All by himself! WOW! I love seeing the disabled being so independent. I know they are able to, but not many, especially in our society actually believe that they can.

So, here goes my splashing story! Haha…quite an experience! Scary though :S But it did support my proposal to my parents to allow me to go for proper swimming lessons and now, lifesaving course!

People

1.9.09.

It’s not just SUNshine’s sister’s birthday, but it also marks a new chapter in SUNshine’s life.

As of today, I’m a final year medical student. 1 more year. Just 1 more year to having the license to kill or heal (aiming for the latter one only!). I don’t feel prepared to be a doctor yet. Wonder what this coming 1 year can do to change that!

I’m a purpose-driven person. I don’t like doing things for the sake of doing them or just doing it to go with the flow cos everyone’s doing it. So, for the past 1 week, I’ve been seeking for a motivation, an encouragement that will keep me keeping on all out this coming year. It’s gonna be stressful, it’s gonna be tiring, but I need to overcome it.

I spent the entire week meeting people, talking with them, hanging out with those I love. I had 2 karaoke sessions, window shopping with the girls, one-to-one talks with some Ji Muis, had a great meeting with the CEO of one of the biggest property builders in Malaysia, attended a birthday party, had little chats with cute 16-year-olds, talked to doctors from Sudan who are doing their Masters here, spent time with my family, had suppers with my friends, stood in front of the church for 5 services and repeat the same words with a smile, made a hospital visitation and met many new friends. Oh yeah..I gave 300ml of my blood away too. It was physically tiring, but fun! SO fun!

It was during this week that a little voice reminded me of the reason I do all the things that I do. The reason is simply PEOPLE. A doctor can’t be a doctor without the patients. What’s the point of being a doctor if I can’t help and serve PEOPLE and they don’t get better after seeing me? What’s the point of going for missions if PEOPLE are not blessed? What’s the point of all the sermons I preach and bible studies I give if PEOPLE are not blessed and lives are not changed? What’s the point of doing community work if PEOPLE are not blessed by our work? What’s the point of winning victories if you have no PEOPLE to celebrate with you? What’s the point of earning all the money in the world if you have no PEOPLE to share with? Swimming in a pool of cash alone is SS: syiok sendiri!

I’m really grateful for the priviledge to be called into a profession and ministry that requires me to meet many people and come in contact with many people everyday. I think that’s the best part! I love talking with people, listening to their life stories, listening to their problems and see what I can do to sort them out. I get inspired by people, and hope to inspire people. I’m blessed by people and hope to bless people. I’m loved by people and hope to love people.

I really like what Pastor Troy Marshall said. The measure of our love for God is really measured by our love for people. God’s heart and burden is always for people.

So, here we go final year! Just 1 word that will help me to cling on, to work hard, to keep on keeping on even when I feel like giving up, my inspiration, my passion: PEOPLE