More unanswered questions

There are just certain things that I don’t understand and it’s making me very frustrated.

1. Where does depression come from and what’s the cure? :S

2. Why does your heart and your mind go to war and cause you to suffer?

3. How is it possible to fall for someone whom you have no reason to love? And in fact, to love such person is one of the most difficult thing to do, yet something you are so willing to do.

4. How does distance make the heart fonder?

5. Why is it the more you try to forget something, the more you remember it? And the more you try to remember something, you forget it so easily?

6. Where do emotions come from and why do they cause so much effect even when the rest of you is against it?

Sometimes I think it’s absurd! Sometimes they feel so real. Sometimes I just wonder why are human beings so complicated? Sometimes I wonder what’s the truth. Sometimes I wonder why can’t we just live simplier lives with simplier circumstances? The moment you tell yourself to stop thinking about it, that very moment you’re thinking about it already! =_=

But sometimes, I remember that the imperfections in life make life beautiful.

I’m going psycho! This is like battling cancer. If you stop battling, you’ll die although battling it does not gurantee success!

God help! I am completely, entirely, wholely, solely dependent on You! I can’t find any other solution!

The best day of my life?

SUNshine started the day by posting this on her FB wall: Today is the best day of my life!

SUNshine went to uni as usual and today is meant to be relaxed because it’s mainly just to practice our clinical skills in Ophthalmology (Eye stuff); checking visual acuity, visual field, peering into people’s eyes.

All was alright until 2 drops of “magic potion” went into my eye. Initially, I thought it’ll be pretty cool to have my pupil dilated and it’ll be great to finally learn how to check the inside of the eye properly. I just knew that it’ll be slightly uncomfortable for the next 3-4 hours if it’s bright because my pupil won’t be able to constrict.

My dilated pupil was 8mm according to my friend!

No one told me I won’t be able to read clearly after that! I had the shock of my life when I was checking my SMS only to realise the words were ALL BLUR! No one told me that it would be difficult to accommodate the eye too. I actually had squint and looked really funny! Haha….Not putting the pic up here cos it really looked very funny! Haha…

Of course all that gave SUNshine a headache and wasted 1 day not being able to study. It also felt like I was “walking towards the light at the end of the tunnel” when I walked down the corridor and it felt like lunch in heaven because it was so bright! Haha….

It’s 6 hours after those 2 magical drops were put into my eye and my pupil is still dilated! Argh!

I’m still checking my pupil every 20 minutes or so! Haha….

The funny things we go through as med students to learn. Haha… =_=

So much for “the best day of my life”. Haha…

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Busy

wwaaaahhhh…….life is so so so busy!

but then again, i rather be busy fulfilling the purposes in my life than to be free without purpose. perhaps, that’s why i’m still happy although i’m so tired.

and in the midst of all that i need to do, i haven’t been talking or seeing you for what seems like forever.

and i miss you although i kinda can expect how our ending will be like. i hope you’ll do well this weekend! and so will i in accepting the truth

The FUN factor

SUNshine has been so busy my blog is dying! Haha…time to revive my blog!

On Friday, with only 3 hours of sleep, SUNshine had to go to PD Hospital for clinic, rush back and took high dose caffeine to survive, rush to check her slides, went for teaching in the ward, presented for a seminar, had case discussion, pack her stuff, drove back to KL, showered, took mei mei for dinner and send her for CG and was grateful we weren’t stuck in a jam thanks to the Devils!

This week, something hit me after my boss called me. We all did something different in cell group this week to make things more FUN! We realise that the FUN factor is just so important for people to grow and stay in the cell group.

So, I met up my members for dinner as usual, and cell group started as usual. But when it was time for the Word of God, I gave them a cheeky smile and said, “There’s no sermon prepared this week! Oh no..how???” Haha…

They were suppose to prepare a mini drama based on a parable/story/value in the Bible and spiced it up in modern times and make it really funny! And boy! It was funny and fun! Haha….Now I know they really can act! It was a surprise that they really enjoy and was recharged.

I was just thinking about the FUN factor in our lives. The reason why we have our favourite hang out friends is because they are simply fun to be with. Work and ministry can be tiring and stressful, and it’s just so much easier if there’s fun in it and you’re enjoying it. It’s always better to be happy and tired than to be tired and sad! Haha…And in a relationship or marriage, fun is so important! I don’t wanna marry a bossy guy who does things well and can take care of me but there’s no fun, but my best friend whom I can have loads of fun together with! I don’t just want mushy romance all the time, but loads of fun in this friendship.

Although many issues in life ought to be taken seriously, it doesn’t mean that the FUN factor can’t be in it. Cell group ought to be serious about the Word of God, prayer, commitment, Presence of God, but we can have those in FUN. We ought to be serious about our work, marriage, ministry, but it can be seriously FUN too! Hehe….

So..in the midst of doing well and chasing your dreams, remember to enjoy the ride too! I once came across this quote: If there’s no fun in all you do in life, there’s something wrong with all that you’re doing.

So..chill la!

In my attempt to look like an ENT surgeon with the headlight, I end up looking like a Mat Rock thanks to my soft and straight hair. Hehe..My hair slides up when I put the band on! I think I entertain my classmates quite well!

Light

there are some things in life that we simply cannot explain nor can we understand, no matter how hard we try.

i don’t wish to know all things nor understand all things.

one thing i sure hope for is to move on to the next season in my life.

perhaps there are lessons in this season that i have yet learnt and therefore i’m still stuck here.

what else can i do to move on to the next season?

was i disillusioned? or am i disillusioned right now?

Dear Lord, shed some light please….Come on! Let’s move on!!!!

Happy times! :)

SUNshine has been so busy she’s got no time to blog! That’s a good problem I think Would rather be busy than free and emo. Hehe… Someone once told me that if you’re not busy, you’re lazy! Successful people are always busy..doing the right things, of course.

Minor postings started. I think they should be called specialised posting or pseudo-minor posting! It’s so much to study and our schedule is so packed! And it’s not easy too. Gambateh!

But this weekend, SUNshine was also busy doing stuff she likes. On Saturday, she joined some fellow students and staff to do community work in one of the villages nearby. It’s similar work to what we did in Medan, just much less challenging due to the expertise we brought along, many helpers, and a better environment.  It was fun!

And for 2 days, SUNshine went shopping with Mama! Mama said SUNshine really needs to buy new stuff and especially, dresses and shoes! Whee! In total, I bought 4 dresses, 2 pairs of new shoes, 1 shawl! :S  1 white dress for the wedding, 2 black dresses for the wedding and all occasions, 1 pretty dress because it’s pretty, 1 pair of black, beautiful gladiator heels, 1 pair of white heels to match the white dress, and a nice shawl to go with the white dress. Still need a satin sash, lipstick and mascara. Thank God for a mama who loves to dress us up and make us look good! Blessed!

SUNshine needs to work hard this coming week after such a good treat! Preparing myself mentally, physically, spiritually to battle Sem9!

Life can be odd, stressful, good or bad..but life is really beautiful. Grateful!