if she has a choice, she will live underwater like a mermaid and never come back to the surface.
this emotional rollercoaster is driving her nuts! just when she thought the emotions are at the lowest and it’s all over for her, there was a sudden change in direction and there they go again…way up high!
she was fine until she saw him with her again. she knows it’s fine. it’s nothing. but the prick in her heart came. darn! she still has feelings for him. what a good indicator!
but she treasures those moments…she watches closely…she embraces the pain…because they slowly but surely kill the love units she has for him. those moments pierce through her heart over and over again. in those moments, he looks happy and comfortable too. and that put her at ease.
yet…how should she live that way? the moment she’s in fear, she unconsciously seeks for him. when she has nightmares, she wakes up looking for him only to realise she’s alone in her room.
yet…she doesn’t know how else to love him..how else to bring joy to him…how else to be part of his life..nothing that she does seems right. there’s nothing that she even dares to do now. conversations seem wrong. silence seem wrong too. how should she discern and judge to get it all right?
and all she hopes for is a divine intervention. one that will teach her how to love, and to be loved. one that will bring her joy and more importantly, bring him joy…
when it’s all wrong, how do you get it all right?
