It’s a special day!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

May God grant you the desires of your heart. Make a wish!

Tales of love and brokenness

The familiar elderly couple caught my eye as they kept looking at me. As a gesture of courtesy, I went over to say hi. As they described where we met, memories of them came back to my mind.

I met them in the ward. At that time, she was pretty ill. And I remembered how the husband was asking me about her condition in tears. What a lovely couple! And today he accompanied her to see the doctor for follow up. I love the sight of loving elderly couples…

——————————————————————–

As I talked to her, little did I know the greatest burdens she had were not the diseases she had in her body. It was the pain in her heart. She suddenly burst out in tears.

If having renal cell carcinoma, diabetes mellitus, hypertension, previous heart attack wasn’t bad enough, she is living all alone. In her 60’s now, and with the pain she is still having, she was fired by her employer. Her husband passed away 30 years back and her 10 kids denied her.

The only wish in her heart is for her Maker to bring her home. Back to her final home.

I felt so helpless. All I could say was, “Don’t think about the bad things, Aunty. Take care. Make sure you take your medicine and have a good lifestyle. Do get help from the welfare department”. As if that will make any difference to her life. As if that will comfort her at all. As if that will lift the pain her heart.

But I have the slightest idea how to channel her to the right help. I knew there’s some welfare people who probably could sort things out for her, but I didn’t know how and where. I sorted out her medical problems, but I failed to settle her life’s main problems.

——————————————————————–

Today I met people from 2 different worlds. The first story is so beautiful. The second one so depressing. Sigh…

Finally…

She woke up even before the alarm rang. She could hardly sleep the night before but she knew she needed her beauty sleep! That’s it! This is the day! The day she makes the 2nd most important decision in her life! There’s no turning back!

She quickly wash up, took a little breakfast (although the excitement took all her appetite away but she believes that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. No way she’ll go through this Big Day without it!). Her team was all set to dress her up.

Everything went on as planned. She got ready on time, the car picked her up on time and she reached the church on time. While the service began, she was ushered into the waiting room.

Then it was time for her to march in the hall led by her adorable flower girls, the pageboy, her maid of honour and her dad. She took a deep breath hoping it’ll blow all the flapping butterflies away from her stomach! She checks her smile in the mirror and tries to look as calm as possible as the curtains were drawn. This is the only time when ALL eyes were on her!

But only a pair of eyes caught her attention. After knowing him so well for many years, he looks different that day. It wasn’t just because of his professionally-styled hairdo, or his tux. Oh well..it’s probably love

As she was handed over to the man she will spend the rest of her life with, she knew there’s no turning back. That’s it! Marriage is for a lifetime. But she is well-assured that this is the right  man. She trusts him with her life because he  loves God and fears God. A well-respected leader and a great servant. A man who honors God with his life. She admires his wisdom and ability to manage his life so well. She knows that when he walks in God’s ways, everything else is added into his life, therefore, their life and marriage as well.

The service was beautiful from the start to the end. Vows and rings were exchanged. The preacher taught on marriage and leaked some secrets about the celebrated couple. They took their first Communion together and blessings were prayed over their marriage. They thanked the guests for sharing their joyous occasion and were pronounced husband and wife. As they strolled out down the aisle, tears welled up her eyes. She uttered a quick word of gratitude to her Maker. Only He knows the struggles and pain she has gone through before this day came. She once again experienced His faithfulness and love. It was worth all the effort and battle in believing for this day.

 

Sing O Barren!

“Sing O Barren,

You who have not borne!

Break forth into singing, and cry aloud,

You who have not laboured with child….”

 

Lately I’ve found singing to be amazingly therapeutic! It heals the soul…

Spiritually, singing works too! Isaiah 54 tells the “barren” to sing! We know that if you’re Asian and you’ve been married for several years and you still have no kids, your relatives will raise their eyebrows! It’s a terrible shame in the past (probably less now in modern society thanks to contraception, career, etc).

If you’re “barren” (aka not productive) in your finances, career, studies, relationships, emotions, marriage, ministry; sing O Barren! Isaiah 54 brought tremendous comfort to my soul It may be written thousands of years ago, but I know it’s still for me! Check out the last verse!

Isaiah 54

A Perpetual Covenant of Peace

 1 “Sing, O barren,
      You who have not borne!
      Break forth into singing, and cry aloud,
      You who have not labored with child!
      For more are the children of the desolate
      Than the children of the married woman,” says the LORD.
       2 “ Enlarge the place of your tent,
      And let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings;
      Do not spare;
      Lengthen your cords,
      And strengthen your stakes.
       3 For you shall expand to the right and to the left,
      And your descendants will inherit the nations,
      And make the desolate cities inhabited.
       4 “ Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed;
      Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame;
      For you will forget the shame of your youth,
      And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.
       5 For your Maker is your husband,
      The LORD of hosts is His name;
      And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
      He is called the God of the whole earth.
       6 For the LORD has called you
      Like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit,
      Like a youthful wife when you were refused,”
      Says your God.
       7 “ For a mere moment I have forsaken you,
      But with great mercies I will gather you.
       8 With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment;
      But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,”
      Says the LORD, your Redeemer.
       9 “ For this is like the waters of Noah to Me;
      For as I have sworn
      That the waters of Noah would no longer cover the earth,
      So have I sworn
      That I would not be angry with you, nor rebuke you.
       10 For the mountains shall depart
      And the hills be removed,
      But My kindness shall not depart from you,
      Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,”
      Says the LORD, who has mercy on you.
       11 “ O you afflicted one,
      Tossed with tempest, and not comforted,
      Behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems,
      And lay your foundations with sapphires.
       12 I will make your pinnacles of rubies,
      Your gates of crystal,
      And all your walls of precious stones.
       13 All your children shall be taught by the LORD,
      And great shall be the peace of your children.
       14 In righteousness you shall be established;
      You shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;
      And from terror, for it shall not come near you.
       15 Indeed they shall surely assemble, but not because of Me.
      Whoever assembles against you shall fall for your sake.
       16 “ Behold, I have created the blacksmith
      Who blows the coals in the fire,
      Who brings forth an instrument for his work;
      And I have created the spoiler to destroy.
       17 No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
      And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
      You shall condemn.
      This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
      And their righteousness is from Me,”
      Says the LORD.

Time

“Time is a diagnostic tool”

That’s what I learn in primary care. But today I was reminded that time can diagnose more than just a disease. It can tell us more. It gives clarity.

Time can differentiate a dream that comes from your own heart and a dream that came from God.

Time can show the true friends that will really stick by you from the hi-bye ones.

Time can test the value of a relationship and the depth of love between 2 people.

Time can prove the strength of a building.

Time can reveal your genuinity of your faith.

 

Clinging words

Di saat ku tak berdaya

KuasaMu yang sempurna

Ketika kupercaya

Mujizat itu nyata

Bukan karna kekuatan

Namun Roh Mu ya Tuhan

Ketika kuberdoa

Mujizat itu nyata.

————————————————————————————-

Jangan pernah kau ragukan kasih dan pengorbananKu

TanganKu terbuka untukmu

Datanglah dan dekat padaKu

Jangan kau menyerah

Karna Aku bersamamu

Aku tetap sama

Dulu, sekarang, sampai selamanya

Penyelamatmu

————————————————————————————-

Heaven knows how much she needed those words. She clings on to them like a koala clinging to a tree branch. It’s impossible she’ll survive without them the next few weeks.

 

COOKie vs Archie

I’m a COOKie! Hehe…As much as I love David Archie’s voice, I think David COOKie is much more versatile and he can sell in the long run.

But I must say I’m kinda disappointed with COOKie’s performance on Finals night. Archie stole the night! He’s pitch perfect!

Solitude

she stares at the person in the mirror

what a beautiful smile, what a happy face

as she looks only into the eyes

pearls of tears welled up

they gently roll down her face.

 

many words were spoken

many advice were given

many solutions were offered

but all she wants

and all she needs

is the luxury of solitude.

 

why are people so embarrased by silence?

what joy do people find in all the noise?

while the world screams and shouts around her

all she wants

is to be left alone.

 

too many words, too many solutions,

she nods in approval and forces a smile

but the ears of her heart are shut

she just wants solitude.

 

to be alone, to have peace within,

to be away from the lightning-speed world

what great luxury

what a therapy to the heart.

 

where silence is perfect

where peace is free

where loneliness is medicine

ah…

that is the place of solitude.

 

and that is what she needs…

Running revelations 2

Duration of run: 30 min

Stamina: Low

Endurance: Low

Effectiveness: Low

Revelation: Priceless

————————————————————————————-

She felt defeated. Yet another failure. Yet another heartbreak. She has decided, she can’t take it anymore.

She looks to the left and to the right. She sees no one. She sees no helping hand.

She can’t help but wonder of all people, why must she be the one? Not once, not twice, but everytime. Is it something about her? Is she a total failure when it comes to this? She doubts she can try again. She doubts she can believe that it will work. It probably does because it will be against her faith to believe that it does not work, but probably it doesn’t work for her. Just not her.

She struggles to believe but she knows for that to be convincing, she has to go against all odds.

————————————————————————————-

She ran with all her might to drown her emotions. She wish the hurt would dissolve in her sweat and be lost through the skin. She knows this is nothing but wishful thinking.

As she makes a turn to run back, her eyes caught a familiar face. Not just a familiar face, but a familiar smile. It was the innocent smile of her younger sister. As familiar as it is, this time it’s different. It gave her hope. It gave her at least 1 reason to keep fighting on, to keep going on. Life is worth living for afterall.

————————————————————————————-

She suddenly remembered one phone call she received while American Idol Result Show was COOKing on TV. It was her buddy. She is loved afterall. She does have friends. Someone does care.

A phone call is all she needed to remember that there is still love in her world.

————————————————————————————-

Her eyes browsed through the display in the night market. Nothing interests her. Not the clothes, not the food.

In between the crowd, she spotted a young boy. Unlike other boys his age who might be whining for their favourite food, this boy was on the floor. He was begging for money. As she walked pass the crowd, nearer towards him, she saw his arms were stretched upwards. Both limbs were only half the length. He has no hands. As a passerby dropped coins towards him, he struggled to pick up those precious coins.

One word came to her mind: Gratitude.

As she watched him, the sight drowned every trouble in her mind. She thought her world was crumbling. She thought this is the end. As she watched him, she knew her world is far from crumbling, as compared to his.

She said a quick word of gratitude to her Maker and walked on knowing that she has no means of offering him a concrite solution. At least for now. But she knows one day her profession will enable her to offer such young boys permanent solutions.

————————————————————————————-

One last chance tomorrow. She does not know what miracle she’s hoping for, what encouragement, what act of kindness. One more day and she’ll act upon that thought. It’s more than a thought. It seems like that’s the only way she has. She dreads the truth but only the truth can set her free.

Her only hope is the Promise that all things work together for the good of those who love Him. 

Without words

the pin-drop silence surrounds her ears. the whipping of the fan was all she could hear.

she stares in space recollecting all that has happened. she does not know what else to think. she’s been advice not to think so much. but the moment she tries not to think of it, she’s already thinking about it!

she is expressionless this time. she does not know what to think, what to say, what to feel. she can’t even cry.

is it just emotions? is it just negativity? or is it the sounding alarm of a reality coming to pass? she has no idea.

 is she too emotional or is her world falling apart? she can’t tell.

she has no one to run to. no one to tell. no one she thinks is willing to lend a listening ear. even if they did, all they would say is…”OK. it’s OK. no big deal”

she feels like running away. but she knows she can’t .all she can do is run physically and pretend she is going somewhere that way.

deceptions! deceptions everywhere! where is the truth? for only the truth can set her free.

is the silence she hears now her sanctuary or is it the deafening solitude that she fears? again…she does not know.

she says it best when she says nothing at all. hear her if you would…hear her if you could.